Costa and Garmston suggest that true mediators monitor themselves for three resources that serve to sustain the mediative process: reciprocity, intention, and desired state. In the next three weeks we will offer thinking about each of these and invite reflection related to your practice as a coach and facilitator.

A coaching or facilitation relationship is reciprocal. One member does not have greater status, expertise, or capacity. We each bring different resources to our relationships. An effective coach or facilitator values trust, seeks learning from others, and knows that each conversation is an opportunity for mutual growth. We are equals as learners and inquirers. If we forget this and see ourselves as having more to offer, we risk destroying an opportunity to expand our understanding and perspective.

“The mediator holds and demonstrates the utmost respect for the individual’s feelings, ideas, and perspectives.”

Source: Costa & Garmston (in press). Cognitive Coaching, 3rd edition. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.