Our trainers are often asked about a coach writing during a conversation. We offer some thoughts on this issue for this week’s reflections. Rapport is primarily nonverbal and it signals human connection by mirroring another person, that is, aligning with them physically in postures and gestures and in breathing. When the coach writes, the alignment ceases and attention moves from the person to the writing tools. In addition, the very act of writing separates one’s thought process from the person’s communication to the coach and focuses the coach on his/her own thoughts. The connection is broken.

An additional impact on the relationship is created by the coachee’s thoughts in relation to the writing being done. S/he might think, “What is the person writing? Why are they writing? Am I being clear in my words, thoughts? The effect is to distract the coachee from his/her own content and create thoughts about the writing. This can trigger a stressed reaction and move the brain to a loss of cognitive capacity.

So generally, writing by the coach during a conversation is counterproductive. If the coach has some strong need to write, it should be made clear before the conversation what is the purpose of the writing and permission should be requested before deciding to record.

How do these thoughts align with your experiences and your thinking about the coach writing during the conversation?